One year ago…

One year ago today, I boarded a plane, sat in my global first class seat drinking French champagne, closed my eyes, and woke up in Bali.  I spent 6 magical weeks diving deeply into what yoga truly means to me, facing some of my deepest and darkest beliefs about myself, and becoming a certified yoga teacher.  When I finally came back to my home in San Francisco a month and a half later, I felt different but exactly the same.  I felt grounded, calm, normal.  I thought, “I just went through this huge transformation!  Surely I should feel something GRAND!”  But, all I felt was normal, with a slightly deeper sense of my own strength and endurance.  

Soon, my tan faded and Bali became a dream, a sweet memory of unconditional love and support.  I went on with the daily grind of my life, going to work, coming home, teaching on the weekends.  Life was back at baseline and I was more bored than I had ever been.  What the hell?  When would I feel the effects of the healing energy of Bali?  When would I receive the fruits of all my hard work?  When would my heart finally open?  When would I finally feel free?  Why did everything still seem like such a struggle? 

As I sit on my couch in my living room today, in the same home I’ve had for nearly 10 years, I can see now just how far I’ve come in the last year.  Today marks such an important day, not just the one year anniversary of an amazing adventure that would change my life forever, it is the first day of a very new and exciting chapter of my life.  I’m sure that this next chapter will look nothing like the others in my life.  For the first time in my life, I have no roadmap.  Sure, I could go the easy route and take the well-worn path before me, get another job in biotech, teach yoga on the side, keep up the status quo but why?  Then what?  I’m pretty sure that would make me as miserable and bored as I was before.  Why would I waste the amazing gift that I have received?  How could I let this huge opportunity to create whatever my heart desires pass me by?

I can’t.  I have to take a huge leap of faith.  I have to trust that every ounce of my being telling me to dive in and rush forward is stronger than my fear telling me to stay still.

I would never have predicted that one year to the very day of my grand Bali adventure I would find myself at the first steps of a new grand adventure.  As of today, I’ve got no job tying me down, no family to feed, no mortgage to pay.  I’ve got nothing but time to figure out what trail I want to forge ahead.  One year ago, I would never have predicted that today I would be so free, that I would be exactly where I hoped and wished to be.  Can’t wait to see where this next year takes me!  

What about you?  How far have you come in a year?  Look carefully, I’m sure you’ll find you’re a lot farther than you thought.


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